<i>Outlander: Blood of My Blood</i> Season 1, Episode 4 Recap: Guiding Light

Spoilers below.

Mercifully, I have no personal experience with time travel. But even without any firsthand expertise, I think it’s safe to assume that hopping through the centuries would be a jarring experience for even the most mentally well-adjusted amongst us. Perhaps, then, it shouldn’t surprise anyone that Henry Beauchamp—still riddled with post-war PTSD—is adjusting to 18th-century Scotland rather poorly.

Sure, he’s hiding it well: As Clan Grant’s new bladier, he spends much of episode 4 deftly managing Isaac Grant’s demand to raise rents amongst the clan tenants. But without his wife beside him, Henry is becoming increasingly unmoored, his depression and violence restrained only by the fraying thread of his sanity.

In Blood of My Blood episode 4, “A Soldier’s Heart,” we get some additional context behind Henry’s fragile mental state. In a series of flashback (er, flash-forward) scenes scattered throughout the episode, a newlywed Henry and Julia build their lives together in 20th-century London, where Henry eagerly seeks a job at his old solicitor’s firm while Julia massages her pregnant belly and dreams of matriculating at a university. But their bliss is frequently broken by Henry’s nightmares, as well as his continued fury over the thousands of lives senselessly lost in what we now know as World War I. After one such episode, he is so overcome with despair that he informs his wife there’s “something broken in me.” Julia cups his hand in her own and pleads with him: “Let me and this baby be your guiding light.” And so they decide to name their as-yet-unborn child Claire, because it’s French for “clear and bright”—and a reminder to Henry of the light his family instills in him.

But the problem with finding all your “light” in another person is that, sometimes, they can’t be everywhere you need them to be. (Or, in Julia’s case, they get whisked away to a broken-down castle in the Highlands, where they have to repeatedly scrub the laird’s toilet with a hand brush. But I digress.) Where Henry’s “light” certainly is not is in Una Hay’s brothel, despite the mistress’s insistence that she’s found the “English woman” with “brown hair and kind eyes” for whom he’s been searching. Of course, when this mystery woman steps out from behind a curtain, she bears no resemblance to Julia. Disappointed, even disgusted—but not wishing to be unkind—Henry asks for her to “drop the act,” and though she first attempts to drop her skirts, she eventually sits to talk with him. He later visits her again, seeking only a “moment’s peace” as he admits he’s searching desperately for his wife.

But Isaac Grant isn’t too happy with Henry’s frequent Julia-seeking excursions to Inverness. To test his new bladier’s loyalty, he demands that Henry raise the price whilst collecting payments from Grant tenants. That goes over about as well as you might expect, and after the renters accuse Henry of attempting to defraud them, one particularly angry renter punches the “Sassenach” in the face. His PTSD instantly triggered, Henry rails back at him, lost in the deafening roar of battle until he notices his necklace—featuring a pendant of Saint Anthony, a gift from Julia—has fallen into the dirt. He retrieves the jewelry and stumbles backward, alarmed at his loss of self-control. But Julia’s unspoken influence sparks a memory, and he recalls their conversations about a national post-war lottery back in the 20th century. He decides to institute a similar lottery amongst the Grant tenants: They’ll pay what they can towards their rents, but for each additional tuppence they contribute, they’ll have their names entered into a lottery to win a free year of rent. The scheme is, of course, a huge success. One thing remains true both in 18th-century Scotland and now: People love to gamble.

A victorious Henry presents Isaac with an amount of coin that more than doubles what he would’ve earned from the rent increase. The laird is pleased with the money, but he’s much less pleased with Henry’s “gesture of goodwill” toward the tenants. A free year of rent is out of the question. In Isaac’s estimation, Highlanders value brute force, not displays of mercy. Henry, his fists shaking as he attempts not to attack his new boss, agrees to pay the lottery winner’s rent out of his own earnings. When at last Henry exits the room, Arch Bug (Terence Rae) offers eagerly to kill the new bladier. But Isaac only wants Arch to watch Henry “more closely” for the time being. Nothing foreboding to see here!

Meanwhile, Julia is struggling to navigate the moods of her own laird. Davina warns her that Simon is headed back to Leathers from Edinburgh soon, and as such, she’d best leave the faery-folk an offering at the “milking stone” to make up for accidentally slighting them ahead of his arrival. Julia takes the opportunity to steal away from the housekeeper’s watchful gaze and, whilst pouring milk upon the stone, appreciate the sensation of her baby kicking for the first time. In a voiceover addressed to Henry, she again pleads forgiveness for “doing what I can to keep our baby safe.” She then trims cuttings of an unidentified plant and spreads them across her arms and face. The amateur botanist is up to something!

Simon soon returns to Leathers, and he’s furious his homecoming is met with a message from the Grants—really, a message from Henry—informing the Frasers that they’ve found no sufficient reason not to proceed with the marriage between Ellen MacKenzie and Malcolm Grant. Simon refuses to accept this; Ellen has to be “tarnished goods” if she’s waited this long to marry. But he’s distracted from his frustration by Julia, who arrives to serve him his lamb stew with stripes of rash coating her skin. Simon, alarmed, demands for his “English rose” to find an apothecary in the nearby village of Beauly, and Brian volunteers to accompany her there.

As it turns out, Brian and Julia make for well-suited travel companions. (Someday, their kids will get along great, too!) The two get to chatting, and soon Brian guesses Julia’s newfound condition (the rash, not the pregnancy) is not of wholly coincidental origins. Julia has her own doubts about Brian’s motives, and after complimenting him on how hot he is—in so many words—she asks why he continues to live at Leathers, despite his advanced marrying age. Brian claims it’s because no woman wants to marry a bastard, but eventually he reveals that he actually tried to leave Leathers in the past year, only to return because he missed Davina. I get that he’s a mama’s boy, but, like Julia, I suspect there’s more to the story here.

Nor am I the only one with suspicions. Midway to Beauly, Brian and Julia halt their wagon to proceed on foot, only for Brian to lead the young maidservant to a forest clearing not far from Castle Leoch. He observes that her rash has disappeared, and he correctly diagnoses her deception. (As he puts it to her, he’s no simpleton.) Brian’s happy to help Julia escape Castle Leathers and his father’s cruelty, but in return he wants to strike a deal: He needs Julia’s help in getting a message to Ellen, hidden within Castle Leoch’s intimidating walls. Frightened, Julia reveals that she’s actually pregnant, and she doesn’t want to risk her baby’s life running love notes between the Romeo and Juliet of rival clans. Brian insists she’ll be safe, so long as she passes herself off as a lost servant and, if necessary, seeks the help of Murtagh’s aunt, the housekeeper Mrs. Fitz.

Anyway, Ellen could really use that message from Brian about now. Inside Leoch, Colum informs his eldest sister that she’s to accompany Malcolm Grant to the upcoming Beltane festival as his betrothed. She’s obviously thrilled with this news, and reminds her brother that she will, under no circumstances, do as he commands. Instead, she wants Colum to break his vow with the Grants. He’s secured the MacKenzie lairdship already; what more does he need of a union between their clans? But Colum thinks backing out of the agreement is a rather efficient way to get his sister killed. (The Grants, apparently, have a history of seeking retribution when a betrothal is broken. They seem to take the maxim “all’s fair in love and war” quite literally.) But fear isn’t the only reason Colum demands Ellen go through with the marriage. Upon inheriting Red Jacob’s ledgers, Colum has discovered the MacKenzie coffers are dwindling. They have mere weeks to save themselves from destitution. The wealth of the Grants is an obvious lifeboat in the storm.

Colum tries to spin the arrangement as an opportunity for his sister: Within Castle Grant, Ellen can serve as a mole, keeping her brothers abreast of the goings-on within Clan Grant. But Ellen is smart enough to see through this empty offer. “When you sell a woman to another clan, you sell her entirely, body and soul,” she reminds Colum. “And with that goes her loyalty. As the wife of a Grant, my allegiance would be to them. So if it comes to that, may God have mercy on your soul.” I love when Ellen gets fiery. But, of course, she’s also right. Colum has no idea what he’s sacrificing when it comes to his sister.

When Julia later slips inside Leoch, Mrs. Fitz is alarmed to see Leathers has sent a female servant out to run her errands alone. The rivalry between Frasers and MacKenzies is of no matter to Leoch’s head housekeeper, who claims the servant folk have to look after one another regardless of whether their lairds butt heads. Mrs. Fitz leaves Julia near the kitchens while she goes to check on Ellen, and Julia surreptitiously follows her to Ellen’s chambers, where she herself steps inside to relay Brian’s message.

When Starz first announced it was developing Blood of My Blood—and that the series would star both Jamie and Claire’s parents—much of the resulting fan speculation revolved around how, exactly, these characters would overlap. They’re from different backgrounds! Different families! Different centuries! So it’s been a real treat to watch them intersect in a manner that feels natural, despite the very unnatural reason behind their meeting. Hermione Corfield and Harriet Slater are particularly fun to watch together as Julia urges Ellen to sneak out and meet her boyfriend.

Ellen claims she can’t leave Leoch to meet with Brian, lest her brothers discover and kill him in retaliation. She’s locked away like a princess in her tower until Beltane, but she equally fears her fate at the festival: If the faeries have their way, she claims, they’ll lock her and Malcolm into a 100-year dance upon their faerie hill. (Julia hears this and recognizes it as the hill where she and Henry discovered the standing stones of Craigh na Dun.) But Julia urges Ellen to take the risk and meet with Brian regardless, if only because Ellen can do what Julia cannot: be reunited with her true love.

Under the cover of night, Ellen rushes out to meet Brian, who confirms with her what he already suspected: She has no desire to marry Malcolm Grant. “I’ll find my way out of my betrothal,” she tells him. “I swear it.”

“We will,” he promises.

They agree to meet at Beltane, and just as Brian and Julia make their escape back to Leathers, Dougal crests the ridge and questions his sister’s late-night walkabouts. He attempts to grab her arm and drag her back to Leoch, threatening to whip her as their father once whipped him, but she refuses to give him the “satisfaction.”

The next morning, she pretends to have experienced a sudden change of heart. She presents Colum with a list of potential wedding guests, telling him that “nothing is worth this chasm between us.” She’ll accompany Malcolm to Beltane. And she plans to marry him, or so she says. But it sounds much more like she plans to use him.

On the trip back to Leathers, Julia offers to attend Beltane with Brian and help him arrange a meeting with Ellen away from prying eyes. In return, she hopes for him to aid her search for Henry in Inverness whilst the festival is ongoing. “We have a bargain,” Brian agrees.

Finally, Simon summons Julia to his chambers within Leathers. He attempts to undress her, but she flinches and grabs his arm. “Easy, my laird,” she says. “You must be careful with me, for I’m carrying something precious.” She brings his hand to her stomach and to the life within, and the laird of Castle Leathers realizes she will soon give birth to what he believes is his baby. He turns to Davina to relay the happy news, but Davina looks only shocked, even angry, before eventually settling her features into a smile.

Is she suspicious? Jealous? Does she know what Julia’s done? Does it even matter? Either way, Julia will need the maidservant’s help to deliver this baby safely. If Davina’s unwilling, where does that leave the lost Mrs. Beauchamp? Could she even survive the birth alone? And where might that leave her husband, whose facade is crumbling by the hour? I think we have good reason to be worried about the Beauchamps. They’re running out of time to find each other again. Maybe it’s time the faeries step in again.