Society. Inviting your ex to your wedding: good or bad idea?

When he married Kate Middleton in 2011, Prince William decided to invite four of his ex-girlfriends. Prince Harry , when he married Meghan Markle in 2018, also invited two former girlfriends. Does this surprise you?

Like them, Maryline, a 39-year-old reader, got married two years ago. Among the guest list was her former partner, who is also the father of her 6-year-old son. The question of the invitation was rather obvious to her. "The page has been turned for a long time, we have each rebuilt our lives and we have remained on good terms and continue to see each other because we have our little boy. For me, he had his place at my wedding and that was no problem," she tells us.

Should you invite your ex to your wedding? This delicate question is not, however, obvious to all future brides and grooms . Is it inappropriate, even risky? Or, on the contrary, is it proof of a past relationship, now buried, and a form of maturity? "It is better to avoid mixing your romantic past with your present, especially on a day as important as your wedding," says Sébastien, a reader from Isère. Like him, according to a survey carried out by Mariages.net , 9 out of 10 couples choose not to invite ex-partners to their wedding (*). The main reason given: the fear that the presence of an ex will create general unease during the reception, as romantic pasts sometimes remain a sensitive subject. Sylvie, from Savoie, does not even dare "believe in this kind of invitation. How many separated couples then get along to the point of inviting each other to one or the other's wedding?" she asks.

And yet, not all love stories end in hatred. Among those who take the step of inviting their ex-partner, 36% say that friendship has since taken precedence over the romance. Others (19%) see it as a symbolic way to close a chapter without bitterness, while 16% believe it clearly shows that the page has been turned. Finally, 30% cite secondary reasons, such as a sign of good understanding with the current spouse's ex-partner, without going as far as friendship. With the average age of marriage now being 36, life stories and romantic journeys before a union are often richer.

However, for many, the symbolism of marriage remains too strong to risk involving a figure from the past. And then, the idea that seeing an ex on your wedding day will bring out buried feelings is a cliché that is still very present, and has been widely exploited by television series and cinema.

The Mariages.net survey reveals that 30% of respondents believe that "the past is in the past," 12% think their current partner might be jealous, and 5% fear that their ex will react badly, even ruining the party. These concerns underscore the importance of dialogue within the couple: if one partner wants to invite an ex, a sincere discussion is essential, because behind that name on a list sometimes lie unspoken thoughts or insecurities.

Receiving an invitation to a former lover's wedding can also be confusing. According to the same survey, only 12% of respondents would readily agree to attend. The dilemma in this case is rather: accept and have fun, go and face the past, or politely decline. The answer again depends on the context: clarity of feelings, quality of the current relationship, and respect for each other's partners.

One rule, however, seems to be a consensus: if there's any doubt about the nature of the relationship, it's best to abstain. Because a wedding, beyond the celebration, is a commitment. And if it's possible to make room for the past, it's only on the condition that it's fully embraced... and truly over.

Sample of 1,600 people surveyed on the Mariages.net Instagram community in June 2025.