Kristi Noem Got Her Purse Snatched with $3,000 In Cash Inside

Oh, come ON!

From CNN:

Noem, who was asked about the theft at the White House Easter Egg Roll, acknowledged the incident and said the matter has not been resolved. The Secret Service, which provides security for Noem, reviewed security camera footage at the Capital Burger restaurant and saw an unknown White male wearing a medical mask steal her bag and leave the restaurant, a law enforcement source said.The thief got away with Noem’s driver’s license, medication, apartment keys, passport, DHS access badge, makeup bag, blank checks, and about $3,000 in cash.

The Secret Service has launched an investigation to trace any use of Noem’s financial instruments, the person added. “Her entire family was in town including her children and grandchildren – she was using the withdrawal to treat her family to dinner, activities, and Easter gifts,” a DHS spokesperson said.

Thus are we introduced to new frontiers in the field of complete dumbassery. Some purse-snatcher is wandering around DC carrying the DHS Secretary's access ID. Our great hope is that he's so stunned by the big score he made that he hasn't yet figured out how much he could get for that ID from various bad actors. And, while we're on the subject...

WTF is the DHS Secretary doing wandering around DC with three grand in her handbag?

From NBC News:

When asked why Noem had so much cash in her purse, DHS spokesperson Tricia McLaughlin responded: “Her entire family was in town including her children and grandchildren — she was using the withdrawal to treat her family to dinner, activities, and Easter gifts.”

That's sweet, but doesn't Madam Secretary have any credit cards? Or is she a granny with her money in a pickle jar down by the Clampett’s cee-ment pond because she don't trust them Eastern bankers? And, as NBC News reports, she was victimized by a miscreant who never will be compared to Tom Cruise in the Mission: Impossible movies.

At approximately 7:55 p.m. ET, a man wearing an N-95 mask walked into the restaurant and up a few stairs to where Noem was eating dinner, the two people said. He sat near Noem's table and scooted his chair close to hers before carefully taking his foot and sliding her purse toward him, according to surveillance footage viewed by law enforcement, the sources said, adding that within minutes the man picked up Noem's purse and placed it under his jacket, walked out of the restaurant and down the street.

Crafty chair-scooters are a plague on us all.

It was quite a weekend for the Katzenjammer Kabinet. In addition to Secretary Noem's Genuine Adventures In Crime, apparently, everybody in the Pentagon except Zombie James Forrestal wants to show Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth the door. The American defense establishment is leaking like an old canoe on the subject. The story was first cracked by NPR:

The White House has begun the process of looking for a new leader at the Pentagon to replace Pete Hegseth, according to a U.S. official who was not authorized to speak publicly. This comes as Hegseth is again mired in controversy over sharing military operational details in a group chat. The defense secretary is under fire after revelations that he shared classified information in a group chat with his wife, brother and lawyer, according to the official.

Another Signal chat? Hegseth responded by enlivening the annual White House Easter Egg ceremony, which had corporate sponsorship this year for the first time, with a barely coherent rant.

Hegseth had denied wrongdoing at a White House Easter event earlier Monday. "This is what the media does, they take anonymous sources from disgruntled former employees, and then they try to slash and burn people, ruin their reputation. It's not going to work with me," he said. Hegseth was likely referring to four senior advisers who left the Pentagon abruptly last week. Former Defense Department spokesperson John Ullyot resigned and then published an opinion piece calling the past month at the Pentagon a "full-blown meltdown" of infighting that is hurting President Trump.

(The president added his own special touch to the proceedings by claiming that he is "bringing religion back" and showing children a trading card depicting the attempt on his life during the campaign. I'll trade him two Garfields and an FDR straight up right now.)

And it's only Tuesday.