Trump’s long weekend of humiliation

Donald Trump‘s favorite movie is supposedly “Citizen Kane,” Orson Welles’ revolutionary tale about the rise and fall of a wealthy newspaper magnate. Famed documentarian Erroll Morris interviewed Trump about his love of the film in 2002, and watching their conversation now, it seems likely that the president has never even seen the film. Throughout the interview, he employed his usual BS method of pretending he knows what he’s talking about by drawing on half-remembered details he heard from other people. (It’s also his go-to move when asked about the Bible.)

“The word ‘Rosebud,’ for whatever reason, has captivated moviegoers and movie watchers for so many years,” Trump said. “Perhaps if they came up with another word that meant the same thing, it wouldn’t have worked.” Real top-level criticism from a guy who totally saw that movie!

Last weekend, as greatly exaggerated rumors of Trump’s death flew around the internet, this clip floated back into my memory — and not because the president is capable of self-reflection. Instead, there seemed to be an obvious link between Trump’s fictional death and that of Charles Foster Kane’s: No one was sad about it. Liberals online were in a celebratory mood, documenting how the president hadn’t been seen in public for days following recent appearances where he seemed more unwell than usual. But we also heard from Vice President JD Vance, who barely suppressed his glee in claiming, “I can’t think of better on-the-job training than what I’ve gotten over the last 200 days.” It’s a reminder that, if anything, those closest to Trump would also apparently feel mostly relief at his passing. They may back his authoritarian agenda, but surely would welcome the chance to never speak to or smell the man again.

Alas, Trump is still alive, but there is a consolation prize for those who were holding vigil: He and the White House reacted with over-the-top defensiveness, removing all doubt that the infamous narcissist was feeling deeply embarrassed by the gleeful speculation of his demise.

In case his weekend wasn’t humiliating enough, Trump also got hit with an epic FOMO moment, when Russian President Vladimir Putin, Indian Prime Minister Narendra Modi and Chinese President Xi Jinping got together without him. The three dictators made sure to rub his nose in it with a bunch of images of their happy, Trump-free get-together.

The president did not take well to his weekend of reminders that everybody hates him — at least anyone who sees him clearly. (The zealots at his rallies don’t count, as they seem to deliberately avoid all evidence of his true character, relating only to a silly fantasy sold by right-wing propagandists like Fox News.) Both Trump and White House staff scrambled to conceal his ego injury, but in doing so, they only drew more attention to how much this is all getting under his paper-thin skin. Trump has been turning up the volume on his dictator fantasies lately, but the weekend was a glorious reminder that all his bellowing and threats aren’t accomplishing what he wants more than anything: To make people stop laughing at him. If anything, the contrast between his self-importance and his actual worthlessness is drawing louder scorn all the time.

“NEVER FELT BETTER IN MY LIFE,” Trump posted, unconvincingly, on Truth Social on Saturday. Clearly feeling the pressure, staffers arranged to have him photographed leaving the White House for an alleged golf trip that morning, although he was not seen actually golfing. Instead, he posted a week-old photo of another golfing trip, which only fueled more speculation that he is hiding a serious health condition.

The pictures of Trump leaving and returning to the White House over the weekend did little to quiet the rumor mill. He looked frail and, for once, wasn’t wearing makeup, which is highly unusual for the famously vain 79-year-old. The far-right Daily Caller hyped an interview with Trump, but notably, they only published the transcript and not any video or audio — an unusual choice for a president who thrives on being seen and an audience that is not known for wanting to read lengthy documents.

On Tuesday, the White House caved and had a proof-of-life press availability, ostensibly to announce the relocation of Space Command to Huntsville, Ala., but in reality, it was to quell rumors of Trump’s illness. And in one sense, it worked. The president is definitely alive and sounded like his normal self, which is to say he let loose a bunch of lies, strange fantasies and well-worn rants. He sounded exactly like an elderly person struggling to hide dementia, but unfortunately, that’s indistinguishable from his lifelong personality as an incurious person BSing his way through life. (It’s surprising he didn’t talk about Rosebud!)

But, as President Joe Biden learned, the occasional semi-normal public appearance doesn’t help once speculation about poor health gets going. The Republican officials who flanked Trump during the event, including Vance and Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth, looked wound as tight as springs. The president’s hair looked weird, as if his hairdresser didn’t have enough time to work it into the elaborate combover he’s sported for years. The intense makeup couldn’t hide the swelling around his eyes. Despite leaning heavily on his regularly repeated catchphrases and fixations, Trump struggled to generate his usual manic energy. It’s usually impossible to get him to shut up, but the press conference lasted only about 45 minutes, including multiple speeches by other politicians. He’s not dead, but his appearance failed to persuade anyone outside of MAGA diehards that he’s doing well.

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Trump’s response to a question about the rumors of his death certainly didn’t help. He defensively insisted he was “active” all weekend, citing the Truth Social posts as proof. To make it worse, he lied a lot during his response, insisting he didn’t know about the gossip, even as he rolled out a clearly rehearsed litany of unprovable “evidence” of his activity. He got really mad at Steve Doocy of Fox News for asking about a weird video of trash bags being thrown out of top floor windows of the White House residence, and claimed the clip was fake, even after Doocy showed it to him.

The efforts to make it seem like he had been keeping up his frenetic social media posting also backfired, because most of the posts had a whiff of literacy exceeding Trump’s current abilities. As many critics noted, Trump hasn’t been able to speak, much less write, phrases like “what few people understand” or “something to ponder” in years, if not over a decade, as his language skills have steadily and demonstrably degenerated. Yet, somehow, he was producing paragraphs of eighth-grade level prose instead of the barely-intelligible and ungrammatical screeds — fourth-grade level prose, according to a 2024 New York Times analysis — he usually whips out.

Those uncharacteristically literate phrases popped up in a post that channeled what is no doubt sincere Trump frustration at Modi getting the loving greeting the president was denied by Xi in China. In it, Trump — or whoever wrote it — insisted that slapping a 50% tariff rate on India is about trying to rectify a “one sided relationship” where India sells more goods to the U.S. than vice versa. The reality is far more stupid. As the New York Times reported Saturday, Trump is mad at Modi for not nominating him for the Nobel Peace Prize. The Indian prime minister is a liar and a miscreant, but even he seems to grasp that such an act would be preposterous. So now Americans have to pay pointlessly exorbitant prices on Indian goods because Trump wants a trophy he didn’t earn. Let’s hope he doesn’t get a hankering for a Best Actor Oscar, or he might sign an executive order mandating an “emergency” tax of $100 per movie ticket.

Xi’s shindig, however, shows how Trump may think his tantrums look “tough” but, instead, they backfire. Rather than being forced to grovel before him, Modi made a mockery of Trump by publicly joining forces with Xi and Putin in what was read worldwide as a big middle finger to the president. And just in case Trump missed the point, Xi also brought in North Korea’s dictator Kim Jong Un to the festivities.

Trump doesn’t hide how much he adores dictators and wants to be like them, so it was hard to overlook that he was not in their little club. To add insult to injury, the gathering was for a Chinese military parade, mere weeks after Trump’s attempt to have an American version of this beloved authoritarian display flopped dramatically. While Xi was going to have a parade anyway — he is every inch a dictator, after all — there is no doubt that a “neener-neener” message to Trump was part of the celebration’s goal.

Things are terrible in the U.S. right now, in no small part because while Trump himself is tired, lazy and erratic, his underlings — especially deputy chief of staff Stephen Miller — are not. National Guard troops are on the streets for no legitimate reason, ICE agents are doing their best to turn into an American Gestapo, Health and Human Services Secretary Robert Kennedy is gutting public health and a trade war continues to threaten the ability of Americans to afford everyday goods. This is all very bad, and it also helps to explain why so many people reacted so warmly to the wild speculation of Trump’s death.

But the president’s repeated humiliations this weekend also offer some hope. His efforts to be a terrifying figure are routinely undercut by his clownishness. The more he tries to appear mighty, the more he seems increasingly frail in his rapidly aging body.

The goal of fascist leaders is to scare people into submission by seeming invulnerable and all-powerful. But as more people dunk on Trump and mock him for looking weak and old, it becomes harder for him to pull that off — especially if he keeps on lashing out.