Body-oriented psychotherapist Luc Jansen warns against chronic stress and teaches you to recognize it

Stress is a part of life, emphasizes Belgian body-oriented psychotherapist Luc Jansen (54). But if you can't regulate stress, it can increase and eventually become chronic, leading to all sorts of complaints. Jansen explains how to recognize chronic stress and how to keep it under control.

Jansen emphasizes that body and mind are "inextricably" connected. Something he believes we sometimes overlook in the Western world. "Besides the education I received, I had a broad range of curiosity. I loved to bury my nose in books and was interested in psychology, physiology, philosophy, Eastern medicine, esotericism, and working with the body. These are things that offer a broad perspective on being human. I noticed quite quickly that people felt significantly better when they gained insight into their own stress patterns."

He continues: "By supporting them in developing greater (body) awareness, they could learn to respond more appropriately and effectively to challenges. Our Western way of thinking focuses primarily on the mind . By focusing on bodywork combined with conversation, I was able to translate what the body was trying to say. Something that is much clearer than what the mind alone may or may not know.

That's why I encourage engaging both body and mind. This applies to maintaining health, dealing with minor complaints, and also to healing trauma. Our body is a database of past experiences and thoughts. Our body has its own memory, separate from the brain. Belgian health scientist and physiotherapist Dr. Len de Nys previously spoke to Metro about the dangers of chronic inflammation in our bodies.

In his book Your body is trying to tell you something, Jansen teaches you how to experience less stress. "Stress is a natural reaction, but if we don't deal with it in time and regulate it, it can have damaging effects on both our body and mind. The word "stress" is used a lot these days. But stress is an inextricable part of life. We need it to get us moving. Without stress, we're slackers," says Jansen, in his Flemish accent.

Without stress, we don't push boundaries, we're not creative, or resilient. We need stress. But if we don't manage it well, it often leads to unpleasant symptoms. In the worst-case scenario, the stress becomes chronic and takes root deep within our bodies. Stress can drive us to great achievements. It's up to us to discover what we need to manage stress effectively and still perform our tasks effectively.

According to the psychotherapist, dealing with stress depends on two key factors: "Learning to calm yourself down (self-regulation) or seeking support from a safe partner (co-regulation). What many people don't realize is that co-regulation actually comes before self-regulation. Co-regulation means seeking out a parent, caregiver, partner, friend, teacher, or therapist who can guide you to experience more peace in your body. Through this support, you, as an individual, also learn to regulate yourself better."

Jansen continues: "That's important, because stress literally wreaks havoc on your body. You experience blockages, worries, your heart rate increases, you have less focus, you sleep worse, your digestion slows down, and your breathing becomes faster. All unpleasant processes that take place in your body."

But when does stress become chronic? “A normal state of being has the rhythm of day and night: active and then relaxed. We live between these opposites. Sometimes that biological rhythm gets disrupted, and we need more effort or more rest. If this happens for too long or too much, things don't go well. Are you lying in bed all day? Then you don't experience stress, but it's not how life is meant to be, and you'll likely develop symptoms from this imbalance. Most people in this society, however, experience the opposite: too much activity and effort. Too much effort throws us off balance. Too intense, too strenuous, or too intense—'too much' is never good.”

Jansen explains the signs you can recognize when you have chronic stress. "One of them is a structural feeling of dissatisfaction. And I'm not talking about a bad day, but a fundamentally frustrated, angry, stressed-out, 'I don't care' feeling. This often also fuels extreme thinking, i.e., extreme decisions or political choices. Everything is out of balance. Another sign is recurring physical discomfort. A relaxation headache, for example, is one of those. You've worked all week, exercised on Saturday, and done housework, and every Sunday morning you have a headache. Are you experiencing a symptom that keeps recurring? Then you need to learn to listen to it. Your body, as the title of my book suggests, is trying to tell you something."

The psychotherapist continues: "Another signal is how we handle interpersonal relationships. How do you relate to yourself and others? Are you a people-pleaser, for example, or rather a limitless person? An imbalance can also be recognized there."

Incidentally, Jansen emphasizes that no one is constantly balanced. "But if you are, you experience peace, you can make balanced decisions, take breaks, reflect, add nuance, choose the main issues over the side issues, you don't get tempted by extreme feelings, and you weigh what's important. And yes, someone who lives largely in balance also has bad days and experiences pain. But they are more resilient and exhibit mature behavior." Psychologist Coert Visser also previously spoke to Metro about resilience and how you can learn to capitalize on setbacks.

According to Jansen, we humans tend to want to separate body and mind. "But everything is connected. Splitting things up also has advantages, because it's good that a doctor has expertise, and if I break my leg, he can straighten it. Then I can meditate as much as I want to regain balance, but it's really the doctor who has to intervene. However, it's important that we don't forget that our body is a complete system, which we also need to consider as a whole."

In his book, Jansen emphasizes that emotion and feeling are not the same, and he believes this distinction is important to remember. “Emotions are the waves you see on the surface of the ocean. But what lies beneath the surface has a different current. The waves are sometimes high and sometimes rippling. But the deeper part of the ocean moves less and is more stable; that is our feeling. This stability is crucial: that's where mature behavior is born, in our feelings. Emotion, on the other hand, is instinctive. Based on the fight-flight-freeze principle, we automatically respond to stress with one of these survival responses. The problem arises when we are stuck in these reactions without being aware of it.”

According to the psychotherapist, this triggers the so-called inner child and inner parent models. He also explains this in more detail. "Really, those two shouldn't be behind the wheel of your proverbial car."

Jansen offers another example: "Suppose it's 11:00 a.m. and I'm craving ice cream. My inner child wants to eat ice cream and experience instant gratification. The inner parent is the one who's always right, warning me and telling me about rules, structures, laws, and all sorts of insights. That inner parent tells me: 'Luc, you're not going to eat ice cream at 11:00 a.m., it's bad for you.' The inner parent forbids and sets the framework. And then it's the adult in me's turn. The adult in me listens to both voices and adds nuance: 'Okay, I really want ice cream, but 11:00 a.m. is indeed not a good time for it. If I still crave ice cream after lunch, I'll buy one. Or I'll buy ice cream for me and my family at work.' Mature behavior creates a suitable compromise."

According to Jansen, awareness is the "golden key" to preventing the inner child or inner parent from taking over. "If you have a headache on Sunday, your body sends a signal. Awareness means understanding that a headache has a reason; after all, we're not born with a headache. What can you do about that headache? In that respect, you have acute awareness and sustained awareness. With acute awareness, you might, for example, take a painkiller. But with sustained awareness, you start thinking more: what can I fundamentally do? Drink less on the weekend? Go to bed earlier? Work less hard or take more breaks? Go to the beach or explore nature more often? We have to learn to recognize and become aware that we're in that emotion, or fight-flight-freeze survival mode, and are experiencing pain. That's not a bad thing, but what can you do about it here and now? And then you can choose co-regulation or foster that sustained awareness."

Jansen offers an exercise to create greater awareness. "Ask a few trusted people in your circle to write down some of your qualities. For example, five good qualities and five bad ones, and do so honestly. This will allow you to see how others perceive you. Sometimes it can be confronting, but it's good to give your awareness a new direction. With a fresh perspective on yourself, you become aware again. Your consciousness is reawakened."

So, getting back into balance might sound easier said than done for some. The body-oriented psychotherapist explains where to begin. “What can you do here and now to feel content again? When I ask people that, they often pause for a moment and give the right answer themselves. Sometimes it's difficult to reintegrate the things that bring you contentment. But people know very well what they need to be content and calm. And no, that's not a new car. Contentment is part of our system. But we still too often seek it in external things or distractions. The best medicine for a person is and always will be another person. We can't solve everything alone. By continuing to develop awareness, we take an important step each time. The aforementioned co-regulation, with another person or a therapist, continues to nourish that awareness.”

What does it bring to better manage chronic stress and achieve more balance? "Joy and health, for both body and mind. Of course, you can always get sick, and ultimately, we all die due to genetics combined with environmental factors, lifestyle, or the natural aging process. But even sick people can experience contentment," psycho-oncology therapist Eveline Tromp previously told Metro . She supports terminally ill people with cancer or other life-threatening conditions, including those in their final stages of life.

Jansen continues: "It's about what we long for most: contentment and a sense of freedom. Being able to decide for yourself whether to go to an appointment, whether to take a bath or sleep, whether to talk to your mother or write a letter to your father. I consciously avoid the word 'happiness.' Striving for happiness? You'll usually end up disappointed. Striving for contentment, that's what I encourage. What can I do to be more content? Ask yourself that question more often."

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