Money does (not) make you happy: 'That urge to shop feels so superficial, but it's in me'

While some believe money should flow freely, others keep repeating that you can only spend it once. And if we're honest, what remains of the saying " money can't buy happiness "? Today: 33-year-old Annette, who shops less than she used to, but still has a soft spot for it.

Name: Annette Occupation: secretary at a law firm Living situation: family with two children Net income: 2900 euros

Not really. My mother gave me money from a young age when I needed something, but I never learned: once it's gone, it's gone. When I first had a part-time job and my paycheck had just arrived, I was already at the store shopping, every month. The idea of ​​saving? I didn't give it a second thought. The only thing I was concerned with was my bank balance. Back then, there was no online banking, so I kept calling one of those automated numbers to check my balance.

Hardly. There wasn't a lot of money, but it wasn't discussed either. It was actually a bit of a hush-hush situation: if I needed something and it was just possible, I got it. But otherwise, we didn't have any conversations about making choices or budgeting.

It's quite a double entendre. Money used to be something to spend immediately, especially on clothes. Shopping felt relaxing and a kind of reward; I really felt like I'd earned those things. I easily spent hundreds of euros a month buying things, often impulsively. That blissful feeling of happiness with a new dress, but after a month, it was already forgotten in the closet.

Not overnight, but since I became a mother, it's definitely changed. I simply don't have the time to shop like I used to. And if I do buy anything, it's usually for the kids. I'm now more likely to spend money on things that will stick, like dinner with friends or fun family outings. But honestly: I don't have the illusion that I've gotten rid of it. If I suddenly have an afternoon off and money in my pocket, I still feel that urge. It's ingrained in me. There's a good chance that if I win the lottery, I'll completely let loose for a few hours. And sometimes I'm ashamed of that. It feels so superficial, so lonely. As if I still need that to feel good. Even though I know I don't.

No debt, but I often lost my money. At the end of the month, my bank account was usually almost empty. And that was really due to impulsive shopping. It was a shame, I sometimes think now, because I could have done so much more with that money.

"Yes, that's become very important now. Not just for emergencies, but also to be able to do something spontaneously, without stress. I didn't have that financial breathing room before."

Practically speaking, yes. More financial leeway gives me peace of mind. But I also know: if I'm not careful, I'll still end up wasting it. Money makes me happy for a while, but then it often feels empty. And that's what makes me angry. I'm more aware of it now, but that pitfall remains.

"Yes, indeed. If you only want more, you lose perspective. Money is nice, but it shouldn't dictate your life."

Not in itself. But it does help to do things that are important. Buying time, rest, good times. Although I also know: I'm still sensitive to that shopping spree; it's deeply ingrained. So, am I completely above it? I think so now. But thankfully, I've got more perspective now and know what does stick. And that's usually not a €150 bag or dress.

Due to privacy concerns and the sensitive nature of the topics, names have been changed. The editors have their real names.

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