Health. Can you be sexually fulfilled without an orgasm?

From a physiological point of view, orgasm is a complex reaction of the body, marked by involuntary contractions of the pelvic floor muscles and genitals.

In men, it is usually accompanied by ejaculation. But this phenomenon goes far beyond just bodily mechanics.

It is also an emotional, cognitive and sensory experience, which ends (or not) a phase of sexual excitement.

Different experiences according to gender

Biologically, men and women are not in the same boat. "Women have the capacity to experience several orgasms in a row, while men, after orgasm, generally have to wait for a recovery period before being able to do it again," says Marie Géonet, a doctor of psychology and sexology in Belgium.

Moreover, some women have never experienced orgasm – a reality much more common than we think – while this situation is much rarer among men.

Can you be happy without orgasm?

It is important to remember that the absence of orgasm does not mean the absence of pleasure.

A sex life can be deeply fulfilling without reaching that famous peak. "Caresses, exchanges, complicity, shared desire: all of these contribute to sexual well-being," she emphasizes.

Moreover, pleasure hormones such as oxytocin (bonding hormone) or endorphins (natural anti-stress), are also produced during sexual intercourse without orgasm, although in smaller quantities.

These are the chemicals that contribute to feelings of well-being and intimate connection.

Orgasm and social pressure: beware of injunctions!

While some people want to learn how to achieve orgasm, it can definitely be learned. Many women achieve it later in life, sometimes after working on themselves or as a couple.

But the key remains the same: letting go. However, "the more we feel compelled to do it, the more the pressure becomes a hindrance," notes the sexologist.

This is why "it is essential not to impose orgasm as a norm or a necessary part of sexual intercourse," she adds. There is no performance to be achieved, but a path to explore, according to one's own pace.

When should you worry?

Lack of orgasm isn't necessarily a problem... unless it's experienced as such.

What matters is how the person feels. Orgasm problems in women are often linked to emotional or relational factors.

But "in sexology consultations, this is not the first complaint raised," says Marie Géonet. "The two main reasons for consulting remain penetration problems and differences in desire within the couple."

Source: interview with Marie Géonet, doctor of psychology and sexology in Belgium