Rise up from the bingo tables!

A beautiful scene after the sequel to a football blockbuster: Marcus Thuram and Lamine Yamal. IMAGO/LaPresse

What's the opposite of bullshit bingo? Probably a grid full of wonderful, fascinating, inspiring things, all of which are supposed to happen within a few hours.

But when do you ever get a row full?

Tuesday evening, 9 p.m., Inter Milan vs. FC Barcelona. It's not a particularly testing period, even though both teams conceded three goals each six days earlier? More eager to win than afraid of losing, we'd say.

Lamine Yamal is once again allowed to cross out the electrifying individual talent, whose fantasies cannot be captured by any earthly opponent, while the bingo card goes to Federico Dimarco for the very earthly opponent who passionately exceeds himself in the eye of the hurricane and, in the process, sets fire to an entire stadium.

Oh yes, an epic football temple as a worthy setting? Check. Prime expert Christoph Kramer held a pen in his hand at San Siro and, visibly impressed, scribbled particularly boldly.

The seemingly destructive Italians, who bravely win the ball high and, with a 1-0 lead, don't revive the Catenaccio, but instead successfully go for the second goal? The puny Catalan opponent, who almost effortlessly pulls off the second comeback to bring about the next blockbuster turnaround? Skeptical whispers can be heard at the neighboring tables.

Everyone can then cross out the spicy touch of VAR intervention, but fortunately, the ideal football line is free of mistakes. Is this really the perfect game?

There's the unlikely hero Eric Garcia , who steps in and helps his team continue this epic before squandering a huge opportunity shortly afterwards. There's the out-of-print star Raphinha , who seems to have decided everything shortly before the end, until, of course, a veteran like Francesco Acerbi , who up until then had only been able to guess the opponent's penalty area from open play, scores his first Champions League goal at the age of 37. In the third minute of stoppage time.

Seconds earlier, Lamine Yamal, who can also make his way through bingo lines, had hit the post by a few centimeters, and a lot happened in the 30 minutes of extra time. Including the seventh, the thirteenth, and ultimately the final goal. Yann Sommer then scraped a ball out of the corner for which he was actually ten centimeters too short.

What, who really had that?

After a game like this, it would be worthy of not mentioning that one of the two teams had to lose this game. Because neither of them deserved this defeat. Actually, just before midnight, everyone was allowed to shout "Bingo!"

The possibility that the return leg would surpass the first leg in such a way was not even on anyone's radar.