Psychology: Helpful strategies for dealing with your inner critic
The voice in our heads can be quite loud—and unfortunately, it's often anything but nice. We have three strategies to calm your inner critic.
"You did a great job again," "You always mess everything up," or "You won't be able to do it anyway" – sometimes things get pretty nasty in our heads. Unfortunately, the inner critic is often much louder than the cheerleader who believes in us and lovingly motivates us. Instead, we're bombarded with nasty comments that unfortunately usually don't motivate us, but rather sabotage us.
Many of us are familiar with this negative voice in our heads. Especially in stressful situations, it quickly gains the upper hand, causing gloomy thoughts and a bleak outlook. But how can we best deal with this inner critic? Platitudes like "Always think positive!" unfortunately don't help much. Instead, we can approach the nagging voice with love and take the wind out of its sails with an objective perspective.
Psychologist and author Dr. Ethan Kross shared three strategies with "mindbodygreen" to calm the negative voice in your head.
3 tips to appease your inner critic 1. Create distanceThe big problem with our inner critic is that it's often too close to the situation, causing us to lose an objective view of it. Therefore, it can help to take some distance—from the current situation, but also from our overly negative view of it.
"Giving good advice to others is often much easier than giving it to ourselves when our thoughts are racing," explains Dr. Kross. The psychologist therefore recommends changing our perspective and looking at ourselves—and ultimately talking to ourselves—as we would with a good friend. This can help us assess the situation more realistically and realize: Everything isn't as dramatic as the little voice in our head makes us believe.
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It can also help to put the current problem, which our inner voice is currently presenting to us as the end of the world, into perspective. To do this, we can ask ourselves: How important will this problem or my mistake be in a week, a month, or a year? In most cases, the answer will probably be: not that important. "This gives us hope that our situation will improve," says Dr. Ethan Kross. "And hope can be a helpful tool against the inner critic."
And if the consequences of the current problem do turn out to be long-term, putting ourselves down won't help us either. Instead, we could actively seek solutions—for which, again, we need a clear head.
3. Establish ritualsAs a third strategy against the negative voice in our heads, Dr. Kross recommends rituals. Specifically, rituals that can help us clear our minds in acute situations and thus muzzle the inner critic—at least for a moment. Ethan Kross explains: "Rituals give us a sense of order and control." And it is precisely this control that we often lack in difficult situations, which then activates the anxious, negative chatter of our inner voice.
Which type of ritual helps you depends, of course, on your individual needs. Perhaps it's a short walk to literally clear your head. Perhaps watching a cat video, doing some yoga poses, or doing the dishes helps. Experiment with what works best for you to calm your inner critic—and then establish this ritual(s) as a routine. This can help you calm down in difficult situations and perhaps regain a bit of objectivity.
Brigitte
brigitte
