Psychologist reveals: This simple sentence helps against brooding at 3 a.m.

At night, everything seems more threatening. Shadows on the wall, but also our thoughts. While we can rationalize many things during the day without panicking, at three in the morning every problem seems three times as big. And once we're caught in this carousel of thoughts, it's not so easy to stop. Sleep is out of the question.

When our brain is running at full speed at night

Psychologist Dr. Jeffrey Bernstein explains his personal trick on "Psychology Today" that reliably helps him overcome his ruminations. He calls it the "middle-of-the-night thought spiral": "This happens when our brain, tired of rest, starts playing like a late-night talk show," the expert explains. "Except we're the host, the guest, and the audience all at once, and unfortunately, none of it is funny."

In his long practice, the therapist has developed a simple phrase that has helped both himself and many of his patients through many a sleepless night: "This thought can wait."

"This simple sentence is quite powerful," explains Dr. Bernstein. "When we say it to ourselves—lovingly but clearly—it draws a clear boundary between us and our wandering thoughts." There's no need for a solution, no denial, and no argument with our brain. "The sentence tells our hyperactive mind: not now." This doesn't suppress our thoughts, but merely postpones them.

Why one sentence can free us from the spiral of rumination

The psychologist goes on to give four reasons why this simple sentence really helps:

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• It's short enough for us to remember it at 3 a.m.
• He acknowledges the thought without wanting to push it away.
• It strengthens our ability to pause – something we often forget.
• It reduces the sense of urgency that feeds anxiety and insomnia.

Dr. Bernstein makes it clear that most people try to get out of thinking by thinking – which rarely works. "What does work, however, is the shift from trying to find a solution to appeasing and calming."

How to stop the thought carousel

And so we apply the phrase "This thought can wait" so that it can have the best possible effect:

1. Use your breath: According to the psychologist, we should say the sentence to ourselves in our minds while breathing in and out slowly, thus developing a rhythm.
2. Repeat: When our minds wander again, we can simply repeat the sentence. "This isn't failure," says Jeffrey Bernstein. "It's training."
3. Visualize a "thought jar": It can also help if we imagine placing our worries and fears in a jar with a lid. There we can keep them safe and deal with them again the next morning.
4. Don't fall into the scrolling trap: According to the therapist, we should definitely avoid reaching for our phones. "Blue light and endless browsing only make it harder to fall asleep again."

Finally, Dr. Jeffrey Bernstein emphasizes that waking up at night is completely natural and nothing to worry about. It only becomes difficult when we start dealing with problems and things we can't change anyway—especially not in the middle of the night. "Because sometimes the best way to solve a problem is... to stop trying to do it at 3 a.m.

mbl Brigitte

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