The scent mark: car and steak

The misandrists among my colleagues recently felt vindicated once again when this news came flooding in: Men have a larger _CO2 footprint than women. They are responsible for a whopping 26 percent more carbon dioxide emissions, French researchers have discovered. Of course, you might say, the male species differs in its anatomy alone. Those with larger feet simply consume more energy.

And that's exactly where the rub lies: Men don't travel on foot, but rather, according to the study, indulge in a particular predilection for driving. Not only that, but they also consume significantly more red meat than women. Both are known to be bad for the climate. We can only guess how these two vices are connected: Do they want to fortify themselves with steak tartare and the like for their next drive? Or do they need the vehicle to get to the local butcher?

At this point, colleagues in gender medicine should take notice, as completely new treatment options are opening up. In the future, they'll be able to prescribe bike rides followed by a visit to the salad bar—only for men, of course. We women will still be happy to be invited out to dinner. There's a particularly good steakhouse in town... with plenty of parking right outside.